Circle it!

Not not long ago I read this book and I was fired up and ready to go! In the spirit of "Honi, the Circle Maker" I was ready to drop to my knees and cry to God in front of all the world the plans God had laid on my heart!  But......I chickened out!
 
   Why am I afraid? Is it a lack of faith? Is it a my conservative, non-charasmatic upbringing? Is it because I dont' want to cause people to stumble if I don't get the answer I pray for? WHY is it that I'm feeling this burning impression to CIRCLE a few things in my life and petition the Throne of God for those things, but I just can't bring myself to do it? I've been praying for years. Praising, thanking, petitioning God from the youngest days that I can remember. I even recall the conversion prayer I prayed on my knees by my bedside as a little girl. Even then, I trusted the my words were being heard by the God of the Universe who held all things in His hands.  But often, as I've grown older,  I have felt many times that my prayers were getting no higher than the ceiling, or that my words were just obligatory words that came from my mouth and not my heart. And God has been pricking my heart about changing that! he has led me to Scripture passages, and books, and people who are challenging me to pray like never before. So I pray and give all things to HIM.

     We've often used the analogy of a blank check. "Lord, we've signed our names, you fill in the rest." It's like handing God a clean slate and saying...."You write the story on it."   Then, when I look ahead for even ONE day, I realize that every step in my life is in HIS hands, and I have no control over it. Sure, it's by choice in some ways. We have given God the control, but we at least want Him to let us know what's in store! Everywhere I go, people kindly show interest in our family by saying...."so what's next for the Outlaws?" I have NO answer! Well, I do give an answer and it is "I don't know!" Where will you live next year? i dont' know. Where will your kids go to school? i dont' know. Will you return to KZ? I dont' know? Will you stay in Nashville? i dont' know. And I"ve come to understand that life for us is completely up for grabs, and honestly, it's okay. really....most days.
    So for today, I will remind myself of  Proverbs 16:3

   "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans. "

Establish our plans, Lord! But I'd love to know what you've got in store. I need a glimpse today.